Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Changes and Letting Go

One year ago I was extremely pregnant, waiting to meet my baby girl. I knew my life would never be the same, I knew big change was coming, but I didn't realize just how much. My life looks totally different now, they say becoming a parent changes you and I couldn't agree more. 

Not only becoming a parent, but moving to North Carolina has changed me as well. God has been teaching me all about letting go. Letting go of things and people I can't change. When Chloe was born I got a big wake up call about letting go. A c section was the last thing I wanted, and then hemorrhaging was the last thing I thought would happen. My recovery was rough, long and hard. I remember being so happy as a new mom, so in love with my baby and being so thankful we both were healthy. The day we left the hospital I shed tears of happiness and joy because we got to leave knowing we would both be fine. But there was so much about that situation I couldn't control, and I knew I had to give it to God. Moving here has been the same. Our house hunt has been hard, and there have been lots of situations where things didn't work out, and I was left wondering why but trusting in God's plan. It was a big risk for our family to come to North Carolina. A year ago if you had told me we wouldn't be in Richmond anymore I wouldn't have believed it. It seems things are finally settling down and I'm so thankful.

I made a video for Chloe's first year, and I love watching it. In about 7 minutes you can see her change so much, it's amazing how much they change in just one year. I am embracing it, well trying. There is so much joy in each milestone, each new development, but I also know we will never go back to those newborn days. Part of me is glad about that when I think about the sleep deprivation, but part of me morns that time. Change is apart of life, letting go makes it better. Letting God take control and lead me were I need to be makes it possible.

No comments: