Gratitude List

I've been doing the She Reads Truth Psalms of Gratitude study as we lead up to Thanksgiving. I love all their studies, and this one is no exception. Thought I would share today's as I list things I am thankful for, it definitely made me think. 

I will give thanks in…

1. this joyful thing: baby Luke and my Chloe Mae
2. this suffering: not having our own place to do life
3. this certainty: that god has a plan for our family
4. this stress: trying to sell our house
5. this injustice: the Syrian refugees who need homes
6. this sorrow: the people of Paris
7. this plenty: our needs are met, a loving husband, Chloe's school 
8. and loving family and friends
9. this want: a home of our own
10. this wandering: the transition to Richmond 
11. this waiting: for our house to sell in North Carolina
12. 
    

Rejoice always!
Pray constantly.
Give thanks in everything,
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
-1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

And I'll end with a picture of Chloe in the leaves, because why not?

On Embracing Change

I came across this article the other day about c-section mamas and it made me think (okay maybe get a little teary eyed too), especially this part...

Some c-section mamas have weeks to mentally prepare for a change in their plans, but many only have days, hours, or minutes. Suddenly, everything she envisioned when meeting her child has changed. Her birth plan has been thrown out the window. Surgery lies before her. She doesn’t know how long she’ll have to wait after birth before she holds her baby in her arms.

My plans did change that day I gave birth to Chloe. A c-section was the last thing I had in mind. And ever since then life has not been what I expected. I never thought I would move to a different state with a 7 month old. But, what an adventure it's been. I've stepped out of my comfort zone, met so many new people and grown so much as a person and mother. I never thought I would be a person who would one day embrace change, yet from that day in the operating room I've been doing it. 

I've written a few posts about how Chloe's birth has changed me, and I since our 2 year anniversary of moving to Winston-Salem is coming up I guess it makes me sentimental. I've still got a long way to go, but I love seeing how God has prepared me for greater things. This girl who was once such a planner is giving up so many preconceived notions about what life has to be, and timetables and comfortable things. 

I'm not sure if my ramblings all make sense, but one day they will. A c-section wasn't my plan, moving to North Carolina wasn't either, yet I'm really at a place where I can say I'm thankful for both.   So here's to whatever God has for the future, trusting in his timing and plans, and willingly letting go of mine. 

Running and Ramblings

I got on here to write a recap of our trip to the Outer Banks but I decided to finally put into words a post that has been in my head for a long time now.  

I love running. I haven't always been able to say that. While away at the beach Clarke's cousin who came all the way from Oregon asked me when I started running. I told him about how I ran track in middle and high school. Although it was just something I did to stay fit in-between gymnastics, cheering and swim team.  I did field events (high jump in middle school and pole vault in high school) to get out of running. I was a sprinter because that required less running. I did absolutely nothing in college and after. It wasn't until the fall of 2010 that I decided I needed to do something to get active again. Running was cheap and friends kept telling me it would get easier if I stuck with it, so I did. Training for my first 10k led to training for my first marathon in 2011 and my relationship with running had truly changed. I loved it, and although I wasn't the fastest runner by far, I felt a sense of confidence in myself and what my body could do. 

Fast forward to November 9, 2012. The day my precious baby girl was born. Most people who read this blog know that story, but you can read about it here, here and here. In short it was the first time that I felt like my body had failed me. I don't think I really realized that right away. But as I've had almost two years to process that day it becomes more clear to me that I felt like my body had failed me. I never thought I would end up with a c-section. But the way my body is shaped, or for whatever the reason I couldn't deliver my baby vaginally. I am incredibly thankful for modern medicine, my doctor and the nurses who made it possible for me to be a mom to an energetic, active and adorable toddler. But it was really the first time that my body had set out to do something and just couldn't.

When I ran the Richmond half marathon last fall I remember getting so emotional. I remember running through the Pope Arch and heading through the last few miles of the course (same last few miles as the full marathon course). The memories of running that marathon flooded my mind, I was reminded of what my body had done so successfully. As I came down the hill with the James River in front of me I knew I had a new personal record. I felt so strong and I knew I had cut off a significant amount of minutes from my last half time (I ended up taking 15 minutes off.) Looking back it was redemption. Running had given me redemption in myself, and in what my body could do. It was like I was back, and it was almost exactly a year after my body had seemed to fail me on something so important. 

So here I am still thinking about that day. That day in November 2011 when I crossed the finish line after 26.2 miles. That day in November 2012 when I became a mom. That day in November 2013 when everything seemed to come full circle.

I think about this November. I am signed up to run the half again and I am so excited. I am hoping for another pr, but I have come to realize it's not the most important thing. There is something about running Richmond that I truly love. Maybe it's because I don't live there anymore that coming back for it seems extra special now. Maybe it's because my baby girl will be 2 then. Whatever the reason I am thankful for running. Running has helped me become a better mom, it has helped me feel like myself again, and it has given me confidence in myself again. 

She Reads Truth

I wanted to share something that has been a blessing in my life for the past few months. 

She Reads Truth

The women in my community group at church started an online bible study. We read the daily devotional from She Reads Truth and post to a private fb group. It's been so refreshing to spend time each day doing this. I'll admit I definitely struggle with spending time in God's word. But this study makes it so easy, and it doesn't take long to do. I've really been encouraged by it and think you will be too!

Right now the study is on Ruth, a story I remember studying many years ago. I've loved getting a fresh perspective about how our God is a redeemer. Ruth goes through a very dark time and the story shows how God ultimately redeems her. 

Isaiah 45:3

I hope this encourages you today. 

Less is More

When I was in middle and high school one of my best friend's mom had this quote on her refrigerator, "less is more". I don't know why but we always thought it was so funny. My group of friends would always quote it and laugh about it frequently. It really was and still is such a funny joke to us. 

When I was in college I studied Interior Design. When we were studying Mies van der Rohe,  I learned that he was the original author of this quote, specifically when he was talking about his design philosophy. He was always, and still is, one of my favorite designers. I learned that yes, less actually could be more, the simple clean lines of mid century modern furniture and architecture were so much more appealing to me than the curvy, overly decorated victorian style that was the norm at that period in history.

I still hear less is more, and I whole heartedly agree. As Americans we are told "bigger is better" and "you need to buy this to be happy". We have bought into this notion that more earthly possessions and a big house to fill them with will make us happy. If we could only have what the jones' have then we would be content. 

I guess I am blogging about this because while looking for a new home it is so easy to get caught up in that. I constantly remind myself that less can be more. I really do believe that too. It's funny because I keep reading blog posts about it, like this one and this one. God is really teaching me this lesson.

I must say it is freeing. When we moved here I couldn't believe how much stuff we had. Our house in Virginia wasn't big, almost 1400 sq ft. So I guess it never seemed like we had a lot of things, and if you know me in real life you know how much I hate clutter! But, once everything was taken out of the closets, cabinets, and shed it's amazing how much we really had. We got rid of lots of things we no longer needed or wanted. It was freeing to give them away, hoping somebody else would find enjoyment and use for them.

I really want a home that is filled with love and laughter. I know that sounds so cliche, but really my family is what makes me the happiest. The things that fill my home really don't matter, and the size of it is even less important. If only my friend's mom knew I was still talking about how less is more. I guess that's why she had it posted in plain sight like that. I think we could all use that reminder daily. Less really is more. 

He is Risen

I think it's always easy to get wrapped up in all the fun things about Easter, and with children I've found it's even easier. Like this.............

Sometimes I can't get over how cute she is! But I digress, the real reason for Easter. At my Mops group we were talking about how nice the Christmas story is, but the Easter story isn't as nice and pretty. It's hard to think about all the pain and suffering Jesus went through. But the fact that He overcame all of that makes it even more incredible. And the fact that He went through all of that for us, makes it the most incredible thing of it all. The fact that he was innocent, didn't deserve any of what He went though but did so that we could be forgiven. He died on the cross so that our sins could be forgiven. And Easter is the glorious part of the story, the part when he overcomes death and rises from the tomb. 

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

I love this verse, because it paints such a clear picture of what Easter is really about. By His wounds we are healed and brought peace. As much as I love the adorable baby clothes and yummy candy that comes with Easter I love what Jesus did on that cross even more. 

Faith Over Fear

So I'm almost 38 weeks pregnant and I've gotten to the point of really being ready to meet my baby girl! I had my weekly doctor's appointment yesterday and she said my body is really getting ready for labor, I was thrilled. Now with every cramp or contraction I think "this could be it!" so far it hasn't been. 

I've come to accept that I can't control so many parts of giving birth, I must cling to the one constant which is that God is in control. He will decide when I go into labor, how our baby girl comes into this world and all the details in between. I have a peace about this now, there are times I still struggle with wanting to know more, but I remind myself to just trust. Have faith, because faith is the opposite of fear, and I am done being fearful about this whole process. 

I've given this to God because I admit to holding onto it for way too long.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6

I haven't struggled with anxiety like this since college, anxiety about giving birth. But like I just typed I am done with it. I am choosing faith. I'm not going to let the devil rob me of the joy of becoming a mom, because that's what it is.

For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you. Isaiah 41:13

God has made so many promises in the bible about how he helps his people. So it doesn't matter when I go into labor, how exactly everything falls into place and how our baby comes into this world, God already knows all of that. 

To end on a lighter note, and because every post is better with a picture, here is the baby bump, I can barely see my bellybutton now. 

Thankful for God's faithfulness to me throughout this entire pregnancy!

Linking up over at: Faith Filled Friday and Friday Faves

every march

Every March for the past 6 years I am reminded of where I was back what now seems like forever ago. March of 2006 was the month of my last anxiety attack. I posted about it last year. It's a sweet reminder of how Jesus really does transform us, changes us as we draw closer to him.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " -Philippians 4:6

This verse is framed on my bedside table. It has been since college, and I've always loved it. It's a promise that I need to be reminded of everyday. No matter what changes or things we may face in life God is always there with us in it. In everything. So happy for that sweet reminder every March.

loving this today



Words for Wednesday

My dad shared this quote at my grandmother's funeral, because it was so true about her attitude. Through her struggles with cancer she always had the best outlook, knowing there was only so much she could control.

www.busybeingfabulous.com via nancy on pinterest

Where I Need To Be

I saw this on pinterest recently and repinned it. I thought "this is so true about my job."

api.ning.com via meredith on pinterest

Yeah, I'm right where God wants me.

This school year has been really different than last year, and it's going to continue to change. Starting this week I won't be working in the same classroom I've been in for the past year and a half. A student moved to another county and I had to say goodbye on Friday, so this classroom doesn't need me anymore. I'm glad I already know all the students I'll be working with and I can say I am already very fond of them.  I've been in and out of their classrooms throughout this year and while I'll miss my current students I am excited to work with these new ones. Thursday was the perfect example. I was walking in the hall and I saw a student from one of the classes I've been helping. He gave me the biggest hug, which is funny cause I really haven't worked with him that much. I was on my way to the pre-K special ed class and when I walked in a little girl says "Hi Mrs. Jenny I've missed you!" Ahhh, it was great. I really was having a hard time with the transition of moving out of my current classroom. But like that quote says, I've ended up where I need to be. I know it's true of the children I'll be working with for the rest of this school year as well as why I'm in special ed and not art.

I wish I knew all the answers, but I see how God is guiding me and showing me piece by piece. In some sense I haven't gone where I intended to go (teaching art) but I have ended up where I needed to be (special ed).

How Pinteresting

Today I am linking up over at The Vintage Apple for Pinterest Wednesdays! Oh, how I love Pinterest...maybe too much? But I digress............

Right now I am loving these pins.............

Love this redo of the keep calm posters.

uploaded by user via katherine on pinterest

Always love a good cat picture!

we heart it via madline on pinterest

I know Easter is still far away, but isn't this a cute/cheap idea?

MixMingleGlow via Briana on pinterest

I have loved Tim Tebow since he played for Florida. Always will!!

gq via southernmommas on pinterest

This is sooooo true!

uploaded by user via megan on pinterest

What are you loving on Pinterest? Join The Vintage Apple!

my first marathon!!!!

well, today i ran a marathon. it seemed surreal. amazing. hard. beautiful. painful. did i say amazing? yeah it was freakin awesome!

the day started off really good. clarke was so great to wake up with me at 4:30 and drive me down to his office downtown. i ate breakfast, got on facebook (of course) and waited till it was time to walk down to the suntrust building. then i met up with my team, took lots of pics and enjoyed the beautiful morning. we all walked down to the finish line, i kept saying "i can't believe it's here!"

when the race started i wanted to run 100 miles an hour, i felt awesome. coach mark took a video of us running the first couple miles (can't wait to see that!) it was awesome, the perfect start. coach elise paced me the first five to make sure i didn't start out too fast and before i knew it we were at mile 5 on grove avenue with all the mtt coaches cheering us on.

i remember hitting the first 10k and felt great. off to river road shopping center for party zone #1 and to see my mom and clarke cheering me on. then across the hugenot bridge to riverside drive. this was so beautiful! the james river was right there and it was just peaceful. i met up with garrett, a teammate, and we ran together. although looking back i probably ran too fast right here. down forest hill avenue and i was at the half way mark still feeling pretty good.

i finally made it to the lee bridge. about half way across i felt a tap on my shoulder, it was susan my good friend who i've run lots of training runs with. i was so happy to see her. and that junk food stop at mile 16 after the bridge. but i must say, the lee bridge wasn't that bad. neways, i stuffed my face with gummy bears and finally saw my mom, clarke and his whole family cheering me on. really needed that.

me and susan ran up main street and around mile 18 is where i remember it getting tough. we turned onto broad and my good friend emily cheered me on. at this point i really needed any kind of encouragement! i remember when i saw monuement avenue, for some reason this was the point i knew i would finish this marathon. i don't know why it was here. but i remember me and susan saw everyone from the half and 8k with their medals and we said "we want one, lets go get it!"

then there was the hill up the boulevard. that dreaded hill i've run up. every. single. saturday morning. once i got up it was through the pope arch and mile 20. miles 18-22 were hard. but the last 4 were tough. really tough. somewhere around 22 or 23 i met up with coach elise and she ran with us for a bit. somewhere around 23 or 24 i found coach mark. honestly i was so happy to see him because my legs were really hurting at this point and he is always so encouraging. i saw my friend emily who ran the half, she cheered for me and ran with me some. i remember asking her about her race because i didn't want to talk about the pain! ha!

somewhere along the way coach chelle started to run with me. she started counting the people i was passing as we hit mile 25. i ended up passing 13 people at the end. pretty awesome. well i really needed to blow my nose, so i asked coach chelle if she had a tissue, and she didn't. but being the amazing coach she is she let me blow my nose on her jacket! that's real love!

we finally turned off of grace and then finally cary. the finish line was in sight. i was heaving so hard, not because i was out of breath but because i was so emotional. 5.5 months of hard core training, so much dedication had gone into this moment, and it was finally here. right before the finish line i saw my dad. he surprised me and came from baltimore to see me finish. it was great.

when i crossed the finish line it was surreal. like nothing i have ever experienced in my life. it's hard to describe, but it's something beyond a runner's high. it's just simply amazing. they called out my name which was neat and when they put that huge medal around my neck i started to cry. i just couldn't help it.

my official time was 5:28:22, although i really didn't care. i achieved my goal. to finish. although my legs hurt, and they still do, i felt awesome. and i still do because this is something i will always remember. my first marathon. simply nothing else like it.

(check back soon for pics, i'm just too tired to post right now. and for capitalization!)

Words for Wednesday

perfectlyimperfectblog via Claire on pinterest

Words for Wednesday



Words for Wednesday

Blog Love

Today I am linking up with Kelly from Kelly's Korner to share my favorite blogs. I admit it was hard to pick just a few, but we would be here all day, so here are my top 5:

No Greater Joy Mom

I absolutely love this blog! This family has adopted four special needs children, and already had three of their own. Her heart for orphans, children with disabilities and the Lord is so incredible. Sometimes I cry when I read her posts, sometimes it brings me great joy, but I always can't wait to see what this family is up to.

Young House Love

A lot of inspiration for my home comes from this blog. A young couple from my hometown of Richmond, Va. share their experiences of renovating their old house. If you are into DIY then you will love this blog! They always have great ideas, lots of great pictures of everything they do and of course a cute baby!

Koolaid for 26.2

Lots of inspiration, advice and really anything running related. I have enjoyed connecting with other runners on the marathon training teams, and even got to write a guest post. Ah, this blog makes me so excited for the marathon on November 12!

Two Shades of Pink

Anything crafty with bits of her sweet girls. This blog makes me want to have kids just so I can make cute things for their teachers, or throw them a cute party with all the DIY stuff from this blog. Love it.


In No Simple Language
I went to college with the author of this blog, although I feel I know her better now! I love her Menu Monday posts because I always need ideas for what to make for dinner. I've tried a bunch of her recipes and they are always great. She is a teacher, so I can always relate to the ups and downs of the education field as well.

So there you have it. Hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I do!!

Words for Wednesday

Source: myrevelment via Rachel on Pinterest

A Calling

It's time for me to stop trying to figure everything out. Stop trying to figure out what's next. God will show me when it's time. All I know is right now I'm so ready to be back at Echo Lake. I can't wait to see my students, I want to catch up with co-workers. I've missed them so much. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy. In honor of the new school year starting so soon I wanted to share something. Back in February I wrote a post about special ed. Honestly I've been too scared to actually post it, because it makes it seem so much more real. But, I feel the need to get it out, so here it is:

I know I have been called to the teaching profession. It's something I have been passionate about for a little over three years now. I can look back and see how God has woven pieces of my life together and led me where I currently am today.

And once again I feel God tugging at my heart, telling me that I am on the right path. But I also hear Him telling me to keep moving forward, don't become comfortable, complacent and don't stop. And honestly I think that is where I was. I love my job and I love my students. When my coaching job didn't work out it reminded me how much I wanted to be a teacher. I think it's good that I enjoy my job, but I also think I was starting to forget that this is not my forever job. (If that makes sense, I know right now I am suppose to be an aide, but I also desire more right now.)

And that brings me to the point of this post. I'm praying about becoming a special education teacher.

When I took my current job as an aide I had no idea how much I would love it. And God has opened my eyes to a whole new world I knew nothing about. I had no idea there were such sweet children out there with such severe disabilities. (If you want to call it a disability, I honestly believe God has created everyone perfectly, sometimes I hate that term, disability, but I digress.)

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."  -Proverbs 24:12. I love this scripture. And it's so true. Because "For those to whom much is given, much is required." -Luke 12:48. God has blessed me so much. He's given me so much more than what I need, so many resources, that I know He is calling me to use.

I also love this scripture. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:24. Because let's face it, being a teacher is hard. And I have seen how hard special ed teachers work. I know there are sacrifices I would have to make. Going back to school again. But even if I became one, it's a lot and I know there are a lot of easier careers I could choose.

I love this quote. "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that really don't matter." -Tim Kizziar. Wow. It really makes me think, think about what is important. And how so many times the fear of failure keeps us from really going after our dreams. Because if I'm honest, I'm scared. Scared of failure. Scared of stepping out and trying something new.

God has been speaking to me, and I'm listening. Am I going to apply to art teaching positions this spring? (Where I am actually endorsed to teach.) Yes, I am. I'm going to apply to lots of things. And I'm praying God will open the doors that need to be opened, close the doors that need to be closed. I pray He leads me where He wants me.

Weekend Movie Review

This past weekend I saw two really good movies, so I wanted to share.

Friday night me and hubby rented Soul Surfer from the redbox. I had been wanting to see it for some time now, I'm so glad I finally got to watch it. I saw on some of the reviews they said it was too cheesey, but I love that kinda stuff, and I really enjoyed this movie.

It was really inspiring, after the movie I googled about Bethany Hamilton (the girl who this movie is based on) and she was 13 when she was attacked by the shark. 13! I couldn't believe someone that young overcame such adversity. Loved it.

Saturday night after one of my best friend's bridal shower (where I unfortunately forgot my camera) a bunch of us went and saw The Help. I had read the book, and loved it, so I really wanted to see the movie.

I really liked this movie, although I do think the book was better. The movie didn't go into as much detail as the book did as far as character development and some other side stories, which I know most movies based on books can't. But overall it was a great movie, and I must say I loved Minnie's character the most.

Both of these movies make me so grateful. Seeing the hardships that these characters overcame reminds me of how incredibly blessed I am.