God's Timing

I know the holidays always make people think about their past year and the upcoming new year. I am the same way, especially since my birthday is at the end of the year as well. But this year seems a little different. I always would think about where I want to be at this time next year, but strangley I don't find myself doing that this year. I think it comes down to one thing I have really embraced this year: God's timing. It's something I have always believed in and trusted, but this is the year I have really started clinging to it.

This is the year I have decided to let go of this timeline I have in my head of when certain things need to happen. (ie: getting a teaching job) It's funny because this has been the year with so many interviews and all of them ending in a no. Yet, despite this I still believe God has called me to teach. And I really believe it more than ever now.

I can feel God working in my life because I have opened myself up to a different outcome than what I originally anticipated. When I started this journey towards becoming a teacher I wanted to teach art. Now, I really believe God has called me to teach special ed. It's crazy, and I really wouldn't have it any other way.

I recently went on an interview to teach special ed, and although I didn't get the position God really used this to show me something. I am passionate about teaching children with special needs. Whether that be children with multiple disabilities or children who are mainstreamed into a regular ed classroom. A couple weeks before I ever applied to that job I met with an old professor at Uof R to talk about their special ed program. She encouraged me to apply to teach special ed on a provisional license. Before I went into that meeting I prayed for God to show me what I should do. Lay it on my heart if this was His path for me. I left that meeting almost crying. It was just one of those times when I felt the Holy Spirit so strongly.

I don't know where that leaves me now. God has been laying other things on my heart besides teaching recently and I feel I need to persue it. But ultimately He is in control of that as well. I think it goes back to timing. I have such a peace about His timing. I don't need to plan where I want to be next year because as long as I persue His will for my life, I'll be exactly where I need to be.

Coach Jenny

So yesterday after work I went to a working interview at River City Youth Fitness, a local gym that mainly teaches children gymnastics. It's really funny how it all happened...........

I filled out the application this past Wednesday, had Clarke fax it in on Thursday. When I got home from school on Thursday the owner had called me and left a voicemail. When I called him back he asked if I was free that day at 6:45 for an interview. So I went in, came back Monday and he offered me the job then! I guess I really shouldn't say it was funny, more easy. Which is very rare for me when it comes to job searching.

I'm really excited to have gymnastics be apart of my life again. When I walked into the gym there was something about the smell that reminded me of childhood (is that weird?) I love the age group I will be working with (the little ones) and I can't wait to start on Thursday!

A Calling

It's time for me to stop trying to figure everything out. Stop trying to figure out what's next. God will show me when it's time. All I know is right now I'm so ready to be back at Echo Lake. I can't wait to see my students, I want to catch up with co-workers. I've missed them so much. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy. In honor of the new school year starting so soon I wanted to share something. Back in February I wrote a post about special ed. Honestly I've been too scared to actually post it, because it makes it seem so much more real. But, I feel the need to get it out, so here it is:

I know I have been called to the teaching profession. It's something I have been passionate about for a little over three years now. I can look back and see how God has woven pieces of my life together and led me where I currently am today.

And once again I feel God tugging at my heart, telling me that I am on the right path. But I also hear Him telling me to keep moving forward, don't become comfortable, complacent and don't stop. And honestly I think that is where I was. I love my job and I love my students. When my coaching job didn't work out it reminded me how much I wanted to be a teacher. I think it's good that I enjoy my job, but I also think I was starting to forget that this is not my forever job. (If that makes sense, I know right now I am suppose to be an aide, but I also desire more right now.)

And that brings me to the point of this post. I'm praying about becoming a special education teacher.

When I took my current job as an aide I had no idea how much I would love it. And God has opened my eyes to a whole new world I knew nothing about. I had no idea there were such sweet children out there with such severe disabilities. (If you want to call it a disability, I honestly believe God has created everyone perfectly, sometimes I hate that term, disability, but I digress.)

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."  -Proverbs 24:12. I love this scripture. And it's so true. Because "For those to whom much is given, much is required." -Luke 12:48. God has blessed me so much. He's given me so much more than what I need, so many resources, that I know He is calling me to use.

I also love this scripture. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:24. Because let's face it, being a teacher is hard. And I have seen how hard special ed teachers work. I know there are sacrifices I would have to make. Going back to school again. But even if I became one, it's a lot and I know there are a lot of easier careers I could choose.

I love this quote. "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that really don't matter." -Tim Kizziar. Wow. It really makes me think, think about what is important. And how so many times the fear of failure keeps us from really going after our dreams. Because if I'm honest, I'm scared. Scared of failure. Scared of stepping out and trying something new.

God has been speaking to me, and I'm listening. Am I going to apply to art teaching positions this spring? (Where I am actually endorsed to teach.) Yes, I am. I'm going to apply to lots of things. And I'm praying God will open the doors that need to be opened, close the doors that need to be closed. I pray He leads me where He wants me.

Sunday Night Recap

This past weekend has been great. There was a date night with my hubby, a great training run, a "preppy" brunch and putt putt, dancing, pool time with friends and lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant.

Friends out for our preppy brunch to celebrate Em's birthday.

I wanted to write some sort of update about my job search, but I'm at a lose for words. This past week has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, and despite my moods I am sure that God is at work in my life right now.

I had the best 5 mile run ever on Saturday morning. It was the easiest 5 miles I've ever ran, and it felt great. I am so happy to finally be seeing results from all my training. Maybe this job search is the same way? I am doing all this work now, and eventually will see the fruits from it all. I know I will.

Tuesday I am off to the beach with the girls!! I am so excited.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!! :)

waiting and praising you god

So here I am sitting by my phone, like a little school girl after her first date, waiting for that guy to call her. I keep checking, making sure it's working right, it's fully charged and ready to go. I can't even go to the bathroom without taking it with me. I am just waiting, trying to distract myself in any way possible but nothing is working.....

Friday afternoon I got a call for an interview at a school I had applied to well over a month ago. I had written it off because it had been so long. Yesterday morning I interviewed and it actually went well. It's the first time after an interview for an art teaching position that I think I might actually have a shot.

I'm praising God for that. I'm happy that at least things are going in the right direction. At least I'm getting better at this skill. I'm proud of myself for overcoming my fears and deciding what needed to change when I go interview. (My last interview before this one was horrible, totally bombed it.)

I'm praising God that there were 49 applicants for this position. 49!! I looked at the visitors log when I signed in, about 4 or 5 other people interviewed, I was the last. So that puts me in the top 5 or 6 out of 49. That's pretty good.

When I applied if I had known how many other people applied there is no way I would have thought I would even get selected for an interview. God is good, and I know it's because of him I got this far. So it makes me know, if God could make my resume stand out, out of that many others, than God can make me find favor with the principal. God can.

I also know he has a plan for my life, and this job may or may not be part of it. But, I really feel a ease about it all. Of course I want that call from HR offering me this job today. But I also want God's plan. If that means accepting the disappointment of not getting this job I'm okay with that. I will praise you God whatever your plan is. Whatever the outcome may be I know you are in control and I thank you for that. I want to look at the big picture, not just the here and now. So come what may God, I will praise you no matter what.

"Many are the plans in a person’s heart,
but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. "

~Proverbs 19:21

Job Search Updates and Thoughts

Okay, I've been meaning to write a post about the never ending job search so here goes............bullet style:

~I have no clue what I'll be doing next fall. People always ask me and I really don't know. I hate this.

~I have applied to several art teaching positions, got one interview, and still no offers. At first I was upset about this, but I'm starting to be okay with it.

~God has told me that I'm going to be a teacher. No he didn't speak to me in a big loud voice from heaven, but over the past 3.5 years he has made it clear that teaching is one of my callings in life. Because of this I'm praising him for a job as a teacher already.

~I am clinging to this verse: "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

~I used to fear wasted time. I feared that every year I wasn't a teacher I was wasting time that I could have been using being an actual teacher. But, I believe God uses every experience to help us become who he wants us to be and this past year is a great example of that.

~I get frustrated sometimes when I think about all the hard work I've put in to get my teaching license in the first place. My first student teaching placement was awful, yet I persevered and finished the program and still I'm not officially using it.

~Sometimes I don't care that I'm not officially using my license. I enjoy being an aide and I love working with special needs children. I am learning so much, and if I'm an aide again next year I will enjoy learning even more.

~I know God has called me to teaching, but sometimes I wonder if it's teaching art? If I love special ed so much maybe God has a future for me as a special ed teacher? There have been several days when I feel he is calling me to this.

~I am reminded of my favorite quote from my pastor "God would rather hurt your feelings than hurt your future." Right now my feelings are kinda hurt from all the rejection that is apart of job searching. But I know God has a specific job out there for me, and if it takes a lot of rejection to get there then so be it. Echoing what I said earlier, if God has called me to teach special ed then I won't be getting an art teaching position this fall. I'm okay with that because I want God's will for my future.

~So although I don't have any concrete answers about where my job search is going I know God is guiding me. He will show me where I need to be. In the mean time I am trusting, well trying to trust, most of the time trusting him.

Stronger

I am loving this song right now.................

It speaks to my job search right now (more on that soon, I need to write a post about it.)

Until then enjoy...

Where I Am

I haven't posted much about my thoughts on here lately, what's going on in my head, and I'm feeling the need to get it out, so here I go.............

I sit and wonder where will I be next fall? I hate job searching. I long for a job where I feel a peace about being there long term. I really enjoy my current job, but it's not something I can see me doing long term. I could never be pregnant in this job, and while right now that's not something that matters, eventually it will. Special ed interests me, I enjoy it, and feel I connect well with the kids. Where was I going with that thought? I don't know? Back to the job search......

This morning I got an email from a friend's mom about some postings for art teacher jobs at Henrico County. I was shocked because I had just checked their website a couple days ago, and had seen nothing. (I admit, I check that site way too often.)So I go to check it out, I couldn't believe it........the same school I was suppose to coach at earlier this year. The one I posted about here. So I spent the entire day today playing the what if game? What if things had worked out for me to coach there, I would have developed a relationship with the administration and others in the school. They would know me, and know that I'm a hard worker. I would be a shoe in for this position..........

And while I know God is in control of everything, I can't help but wonder why? Right now I am having a hard time making sense of it all. I've applied for a job at a small christian school as well. I love the idea of being able to tell my students that Jesus loves them. Maybe that's why.....

It seems just a few weeks ago (before the last two hard weeks at school) I was so excited about special ed. Here I come back to that again. I honestly felt like God was tugging at my heart, leading me in that direction. And now I don't know..............

I don't know what to think? Where to go? I do know God is in control. He knows somehow all the pieces will fit together perfectly. And somehow I'm trusting him. I'm trusting he will lead me where I need to be. Whether that's somewhere in special ed or somewhere teaching art.

And if your still reading this, thanks. If you want to pray for me, I would really appreciate it. I am praying that God would guide me. Guide me where I need to be. Help me to understand his plan.

Tired

I don't even know where to begin. I guess by saying I've had a rough week. Besides being sick work has been emotionally and physically hard. Having to restraint a first grader who has a nose bleed and is spraying blood everywhere (including all over me, and ruining my sweater) is not my idea of a good day. Having to take care of sick students while you aren't feeling well yourself is never fun. But today, today did it for me.

I was actually having a really good day, and the students were having a good day too. Until I got a call from the principal at the middle school where I was supposed to be coaching. He basically said that because I am paid hourly I am not able to coach. Coaches get paid a lump sum for the season, and an aide gets paid hourly. As I type this I am still trying to wrap my head around this concept, it doesn't even make sense. Why does it matter if I get paid hourly for one job and a lump sum for another? I just don't get it. The thing that really makes me upset is he is telling me this 3 days before the season is suppose to start. 3 days. Really. I have already volunteered with the dance put on by the athletic department to raise money for sports teams, attended the coach's clinic and gone by the school to pick up the rules book and other things. And that doesn't even include all the time I've spent putting things together for tryouts and practices. Oh yeah, they hired me 3 months ago!

The thing that really makes me upset, and if I'm brutally honest, truly tired is when the principal said

"It's because your not a teacher. "

I'm soooo tired of hearing that, not actually spoken by others all the time, but in my mind. "No I don't get paid for snow days." "No I don't have health insurance through my work." "No I don't get a summer break, I don't get paid in the summer!" I'm not a teacher.

It's been 3 years now. 3 years since I started this journey. And honestly, if I would have known all the crap I would have had to deal with I wouldn't have chosen this path. Maybe I should have just stayed in a job that pays well even though I was so unhappy. I don't know, I honestly believe that God has called me to this profession, but right now I am seriously doubting it.

I was starting to feel like finally things were falling into place. I finally had a job in my field, and was hopeful that it might lead to an art teaching position somehow, somewhere. I finally got a coaching position, something I was really looking forward to, another job in my field. And despite what things looked like at times I believed that God was working it all out and bringing it together somehow.

Part of the reason I started this blog was because I wanted a place to document this journey. The journey towards obtaining my goal. So I am going to publish this post, in hopes of one day looking back and seeing how far I have come. Seeing how I overcame obstacles (and believe me I have had plenty when it comes to finding a teaching position). But, right now I honestly don't believe it anymore. I don't see how this is going to work out. And I hate that. But I'm being real.

 I got a crappy student teaching placement. I have had the hardest time finding a teaching position. And now I have been offered a job and then had it taken away, for some rule that doesn't even make sense. And I'm tired. I'm tired of making the sacrifices. I'm tired of making nothing. I see on my tax forms how much money I made in 2010 and it's depressing. I'm tired of being around teachers all the time, and not being one. I'm tired of getting so upset because I'm passionate about something and it just doesn't seem to be working out. I'm tired of always being the volunteer, the substitute, the aide. I always try to see the silver lining, the upside of things.

But right now I am tired of that too.

Happy Blogiversary!

It's officially been one year to the day since I started this blog. It's been a fun process, learning how to blog and what I want to write about. So, I thought I would share some of my favorite posts for all of you newer readers out there:

-summaries of our travels and adventures: rejuvenated, magic kingdom, hollywood studios, epcot, animal kingdom, obx

-journey of my job search: god is big, being persistent, reflections

-of course my testimony: testimony

-buying our first house: faithful, possibilities, update, an offer, oh my gosh, house love

-first post ever: first post (I think I have come a long way since then.)

So there it is! The best of Small Beginnings year one!!

What I'm Loving Wednesday

Let see......What am I loving today?

I am loving that I am the new head gymnastics coach at Moody Middle School!!! I interviewed a couple weeks ago and heard the other day that I got the job. I am sooo excited and a little bit nervous. I have been an assistant coach before (and have done gymnastics for most of my life). In fact that is the job that confirmed I really wanted to be a teacher. I absolutely loved it. I can't wait for the season to start in February!

I am loving that all my students are back in school and healthy. Two of them were out sick last week and I really missed them. The classroom wasn't the same without all of them there. So glad they are feeling better!

I am loving the book The Help. It is sooo good. I am almost done because I can't put it down.

I am loving that tonight is my bible study night. We have a new host and they are just great. They always make us the yummiest dinners and are so welcoming.

I am loving that Thanksgiving plans are coming together, and we will be having 4 of them! One with a friend of my husband's, one with my closest friends, one with family (my mom and brothers, and my husband's family, this is a first) and one with my dad up in Baltimore! Whew, good thing I love Thanksgiving food.

Head on over to Jamie's Blog  if you want to see what other people are loving this Wednesday!

Job Search Reflections

I have been reflecting upon my job search journey these past couple days. It is amazing to see how God works.

I was getting so discouraged. I had asked God for a sign, to show me that I was suppose to be a teacher. I was really doubting if education was the right field for me. Why had I applied to so many jobs and nothing had come of it?

Last Wednesday night I was so upset. I had 2 bad days at work and felt I was getting nowhere. I really was starting to give up.

Then Thursday morning, within 5 minutes I got 3 phone calls from principals to set up interviews. Thursday at 4pm I interviewed at Echo Lake and then at 5pm the principal called me and said she had called my references and offered me the job. It was amazing how fast it happened.

I was also amazed at how God came through. Not that I should be, but honestly I was. In the mist of my doubt and fears God did what only He could do. I just had to wait for His timing.

I know this isn't a teaching job, which is ultimately what I want. But, I am just thankful that I am moving forward. Thankful that I have a "foot in the door" job.

I am so sure that this is the right job for me. I am sure I am suppose to be a teacher, and I am sure God has a plan for me. I am thankful that He doesn't give up on us.

The Post I've Been Waiting For!!

This is the post I've been waiting to write!

I got a job offer!!! The job search is over.

Starting September 7, I will be working as an Instructional Assistant at Echo Lake Elementary School.

I am sooo excited. I will be working with special needs students who are developmentally delayed.

When on the interview I loved the principal. She was really excited about me using art with the students. I really feel like this is the right job for me right now. Before I decided to do art education I thought about doing art therapy. I love the idea of using art to help children.

This is also such a great "foot in the door" job. During the interview the principal also talked about how they always promote from within, the lady who did this job before me is now the new librarian.

Starting in September no more nights and weekends for this girl!

God is so good.

Perseverance

Perseverance. Why is it so hard? In anything, in looking for a job, in eating healthy, in working out, in reading my bible. Why is it that so many times we want to be successful, yet struggle.

Is it Satan attacking me? Is it me just being lazy? I don't know, maybe it's both.

My pastor says that successful people are just ordinary people who make commitments that other people are not willing to make. I totally agree. So much of success is making a goal and sticking to it, even when it gets hard. Even when you would rather just give up because you are tired of rejection. Even when you would rather just eat the ice cream and sit on the couch instead of going to the gym.

And so many times, I beat myself up about it. If I thought I should have done something differently in an interview or application. I shouldn't have made the mistakes I made in student teaching, I shouldn't have even gone back to school to become a teacher in the first place. I should have just gotten a job right out of college, when there were jobs. At least I would have something now.

So where am I going with this post? I'm not really sure myself, but just need to vent. Vent about how the economy is in the dumps. Vent about how life isn't fair. Vent about my current job situation.

Yet despite my desire to throw in the towel and give up, and just be comfortable in my profession for once, despite the fact that I am a college graduate (from 2 great schools might I add) and I am working in a dead end job with no benefits or paid vacation, there is something in me that won't let me give up. Something that keeps pushing me to go on. Something that brings me to keep searching and keep applying.

I know that something is God. It's God telling me to persevere. It's God telling me that somehow through this all His plan for my life is unfolding. And somehow, through the unfairness and the rejections and the fear His plan will prevail.

 I know I have been called to be a teacher, and I know it will happen one day. And I know when I look back it will all be worth it. Someday.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

Prayer Requests

First off, this is my 100th post! Woo hoo!!! I never thought I would make it to 100, but here I am! Okay, now on to the real post:

If you are reading this I would love your prayers.

For my uncle. My mom just told me that he had a heart attack. He is 46 years old, so I was shocked. He isn't unusually healthy or anything like that. At first I thought my mom was going to tell me something was wrong with my grandpa. But, I think my uncle is fine for now. He will be having triple bypass surgery soon, so I would love your prayers for a successful operation and a speedy recovery.

And as always for the job search. I am so tired of resumes and interviews and waiting, oh yeah and of course rejection. Please pray that I find something full time in a school for the fall. Just a great foot in the door job would be amazing. Anything would be great.

Thank you so much!!!!

Summer To Do List

I am really hoping that by the fall I will have a permanent full time job! I have some prospects, and I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying. So, I have recently been thinking about things I would like to get done before then. I wanna post them, hoping that will motivate me to actually accomplish them.

1. Wrap up things with the house. We need to replace the vanities in the bathrooms and do some other little things around the house.

2. Catch up on scrapbooking. I have let this go, and I still need to do my wedding scrapbook!

3. Finish some art projects. I started a painting before we moved, with the intent of hanging it up in the new house. I still need to finish that and some other things too.

4. Finish cleaning out my room at my mom's house. My mom has been asking me since I moved out awhile ago to go through my stuff. I am almost done.

That is all I can think of for now. I know it doesn't seem like that much, but I know all the art stuff will take me forever.

Oh, and if you remember I would LOVE for you to pray for the job I interviewed for last week. I don't want to say too much, because I might not get it, but it would be the perfect foot in the door type job for me. Great location about 5 minutes from my house, and it's a growing school. Okay, I have said too much, but just pray!!! Thanks!!!

Plan B

I read about this book on a friend's blog recently and thought it might inspire me.

I just finished reading it last night.

I wanted to read this book because I feel I am in the mist of a plan b, when it comes to my career. No matter what I try, it seems I can't get my professional life where I want it to be. I do have a great job, but I don't feel it is where I am suppose to be anymore. I desire more in my career, but for some reason it just isn't happening right now.

What really spoke to me in this book and what I really take away is the message of the cross. Now I've been a christian for a long time, but this book made me see Jesus' death on the cross in a new light.

When Jesus went to the cross He faced the ultimate plan b. It was His purpose, His reason for coming to earth, to die on the cross to save us from our sins, but I think we often forget how incredibly painful that was. He was not excited about it, if He could have done it differently He would have.

But, if Jesus had decided it was too hard, too painful, our lives would be very different. It was in the mist of His darkest, most painful time that God did His greatest miracle ever.

The author relates that back to our lives. It is during the plan b that God does His greatest work in us. God is more concerned about who we are, than what we do as a career. He is more concerned about who we are becoming than where we are going. God cares more about out character than our comfort.

So, I truly believe that God is doing a work in me. I know He has the power to give me a teaching job, and that might still happen. But, I am now more open to other possibilities.

I want to find out what God has out there for me. I want to discover who He is making me into, who He wants me to be.

I desire to glorify God. I often would think about when I get that teaching job, how much glory God would get. That in the mist of this economic crisis God did an incredible work and got me a job as an art teacher. I'm not saying that isn't going to happen. But, I am also saying that is what we all desire. We all want to be the one who scores the winning touchdown, points up to the sky and runs off the field. We all want to be the one who wins the oscar and thanks God first. But life doesn't always happen that way, and as I said earlier, it's during our darkest times that God does his greatest works.

I have come to this conclusion: it's not about what He can do, it's about what He has already done.  

So many times it seems we want God, when really we want what He can do for us. We want Him to come through for us, in the way that we want, and when it seems that He hasn't we are left wondering why without thinking about the other possibilities He might have in store for us.

But in all honesty I do feel extremely blessed with my life. I couldn't ask for a better husband. I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. I love our church and our church family. We just bought a new home. I am healthy and happy. When I read the awful stories of things people had gone through in this book, a real plan b, it makes what I am going through seem like nothing.

I am grateful for where I am in life. I am finally at a place where I am okay with where I am professionally. I am excited to see what God has in store for me. Who He is shaping me into. Where He will lead me. I am open to the possibilities.

The Current Situation

I feel like I need an update about the job situation. I have been so focused on the house for the past month that it was only recently that I really started thinking about next fall again. In a perfect world I would be teaching Art come the fall. But, it is not a perfect world. Although this is true God is still sovereign and is still in control, which I must remind myself of daily. With that reminder I think about what is next for me.

While I was in school I always thought I would work at my current job until I found a full time teaching job. I am a planner, I like to plan for the future, far and near. I have also learned to plan in pencil, because things change. Although I like my job, I feel it is not a right fit for me anymore. There is no room for advancement, I hate working weekends, and I need something more consistent. If by the fall I don't have a full time teaching job, I need to look for something else. This terrifies me. I am so comfortable at my current job, I am friends with everyone I work with and I am good at it. But those are not good enough reasons to stay.

So what is that something else? I am hoping it will be teaching. But, I have recently started to pray for God to help me to be open. Open to other possibilities. He has put me here for a purpose, and part of that right now is my job.

Honestly I have thought about a baby. But, if I am honest with myself, I am just not ready yet. There are some things me and my husband want to do before we have children, and we just aren't there yet.

One thing that I have been thinking about for a long time is being an Instructional Assistant. I would work one on one with a student with special needs. It would be full time and I would be in a school. When I was student teaching I loved working with the special needs children. I think I really connected with them and even in my recommendation and evaluation my teacher noted that as one of my strengths.

Another thought was teaching preschool. I know all of you who know me well are saying what? I never had any desire to work with younger children until recently. Some of the Art classes I have taught through work were to younger students and I really enjoyed it. Also, if I taught preschool at a church I could tell the students how Jesus loves them. I would love that.

So, the job search is still on. I try to stay positive, but honestly it is hard. Chesterfield just let go of 150 teachers, my friend who is a teacher in Hanover just told me tonight they let go of about 100 teachers as well. I know God is bigger than that and bigger than the economy. But, it seems He might have something else out there for me right now. And I honestly believe I will be a teacher one day. It might not be in the near future, but God has put this desire in me and God doesn't set us up for failure.

I think of a quote from my pastor. I think it is my favorite one. "God would rather hurt your feelings than hurt your future." So true. I think we go though hard things, like rejection because God has something better planned for us and we just can't see it right now. I go back to reminding myself that God is sovereign and in control.

Lastly, I would love your prayers. Please pray for God to guide me where I need to be. Please pray that I would be open to what He has for me. Please pray for courage to pursue it.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." ~Romans 8:28

Teaching French?

As spring is approaching I am getting ready to send out all my materials to apply to any and every public and private school within a one hour distance of Richmond. They say cast a wide net, so I am.

For some reason I can't stop thinking about French. Teaching French.

For the longest time my mom has been telling me to get certified in French, it will increase my marketability. This is true.

Although I can't help but think, is this settling?

Is it settling to not teach art?

For so long I have wanted to teach art, dispite what everyone says about the economy, the budget, blah blah blah.

But honestly, I feel I am getting desperate.

I so badly want to teach, and at this point I am starting to not care so much about the content area. And really I loved French in high school. So much that I was in the French Immersion Program at my high school. I took most of my classes in French and loved it. By my junior year I dreamed and thought in French.

Then I went to college and they spoke english in my French classes, and they were not as challenging as my classes were in high school. So I stopped taking French.

If I am being completely honest I don't think trying to teach French would be settling, I think I would enjoy it.

Honestly, the thing that is holding me back: FEAR.

I hate saying that, I really do, but it is the truth.

What if I fail the Praxis ? (the test I have to take to get certified to teach French)

What if I pass the Praxis, and still can't find a teaching job?

What if I stink as a French teacher? I have no experience teaching French like I do art.

I am always telling my friends and others not to let fear stop you from doing something you want to do. And I think it is time to start taking my own advice.

How can God use me if I am not willing to step out in faith?

And it's not as if He hasn't been faithful to me in the past. I can't even count all the times He has blessed me and used me when I have gone into the unknown, tried something new, gone somewhere different or done something I knew I couldn't do without Him.

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  Philippians 1:6

I know God has started a good work in me, I know He has called me to teaching.

Now I just need to be more confident.

Spring!

I can't wait for spring. Maybe it's because we have gotten so much snow, and I am over it. I know I still have another month or so before it starts warming up, but here is a list of things I am looking forward to most:

1. Our anniversary!! We are planning a little weekend trip, maybe to the Outer Banks in NC. We saved the top of our cake, and I can't wait to eat it. The same day is also Easter.

2. The Masters. My husband got me into watching this event long before I started playing. The course is always beautiful and it's the first of the four majors.

3. Moving into our new house! Although I don't know where it will be, I am excited about making it our own and moving in.

4. The grand opening of the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. The galleries have been closed for some time now, and I can't wait to see all the new stuff. There is suppose to be more modern and contemporary art!

5. Wearing my spring clothes again. I love how the seasons make you feel like you have two completely different wardrobes.

6. More Interviews. I am hoping that as spring comes, more schools will start searching for teachers for the upcoming school year.

7. Being able to play golf again. Ever since I got my new clubs I have wanted to play more.

Why are you looking forward to spring?!?