As spring is approaching I am getting ready to send out all my materials to apply to any and every public and private school within a one hour distance of Richmond. They say cast a wide net, so I am.
For some reason I can't stop thinking about French. Teaching French.
For the longest time my mom has been telling me to get certified in French, it will increase my marketability. This is true.
Although I can't help but think, is this settling?
Is it settling to not teach art?
For so long I have wanted to teach art, dispite what everyone says about the economy, the budget, blah blah blah.
But honestly, I feel I am getting desperate.
I so badly want to teach, and at this point I am starting to not care so much about the content area. And really I loved French in high school. So much that I was in the French Immersion Program at my high school. I took most of my classes in French and loved it. By my junior year I dreamed and thought in French.
Then I went to college and they spoke english in my French classes, and they were not as challenging as my classes were in high school. So I stopped taking French.
If I am being completely honest I don't think trying to teach French would be settling, I think I would enjoy it.
Honestly, the thing that is holding me back: FEAR.
I hate saying that, I really do, but it is the truth.
What if I fail the Praxis ? (the test I have to take to get certified to teach French)
What if I pass the Praxis, and still can't find a teaching job?
What if I stink as a French teacher? I have no experience teaching French like I do art.
I am always telling my friends and others not to let fear stop you from doing something you want to do. And I think it is time to start taking my own advice.
How can God use me if I am not willing to step out in faith?
And it's not as if He hasn't been faithful to me in the past. I can't even count all the times He has blessed me and used me when I have gone into the unknown, tried something new, gone somewhere different or done something I knew I couldn't do without Him.
"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6
I know God has started a good work in me, I know He has called me to teaching.
Now I just need to be more confident.
2 comments:
madam white.... i like that! ( :
i think you'd be great! and it's definitely an "in" to the job market!
I totally understand the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing. I am thinking about a career change as well. (Don't tell my boss!) The things that are holding me back the most are 1) fear that I will stink at the new job, and 2) fear of change. I've been a telecommuter for almost 2 years now. The thought of getting up super early and commuting to work and all that is kind of scary for me. What if I hate it? How will I handle having less time at home, and less time to myself? I won't be able to change things back if I make the switch, and that is making me hesitate.
I am praying hard about it, but I am indecisive by nature and always second-guessing myself and getting in my own way. I will be sure to remember you as well when I go to the Lord for clarity and peace about the future! Keep us posted!
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