Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Calling

It's time for me to stop trying to figure everything out. Stop trying to figure out what's next. God will show me when it's time. All I know is right now I'm so ready to be back at Echo Lake. I can't wait to see my students, I want to catch up with co-workers. I've missed them so much. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy. In honor of the new school year starting so soon I wanted to share something. Back in February I wrote a post about special ed. Honestly I've been too scared to actually post it, because it makes it seem so much more real. But, I feel the need to get it out, so here it is:

I know I have been called to the teaching profession. It's something I have been passionate about for a little over three years now. I can look back and see how God has woven pieces of my life together and led me where I currently am today.

And once again I feel God tugging at my heart, telling me that I am on the right path. But I also hear Him telling me to keep moving forward, don't become comfortable, complacent and don't stop. And honestly I think that is where I was. I love my job and I love my students. When my coaching job didn't work out it reminded me how much I wanted to be a teacher. I think it's good that I enjoy my job, but I also think I was starting to forget that this is not my forever job. (If that makes sense, I know right now I am suppose to be an aide, but I also desire more right now.)

And that brings me to the point of this post. I'm praying about becoming a special education teacher.

When I took my current job as an aide I had no idea how much I would love it. And God has opened my eyes to a whole new world I knew nothing about. I had no idea there were such sweet children out there with such severe disabilities. (If you want to call it a disability, I honestly believe God has created everyone perfectly, sometimes I hate that term, disability, but I digress.)

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act."  -Proverbs 24:12. I love this scripture. And it's so true. Because "For those to whom much is given, much is required." -Luke 12:48. God has blessed me so much. He's given me so much more than what I need, so many resources, that I know He is calling me to use.

I also love this scripture. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." -Matthew 16:24. Because let's face it, being a teacher is hard. And I have seen how hard special ed teachers work. I know there are sacrifices I would have to make. Going back to school again. But even if I became one, it's a lot and I know there are a lot of easier careers I could choose.

I love this quote. "Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that really don't matter." -Tim Kizziar. Wow. It really makes me think, think about what is important. And how so many times the fear of failure keeps us from really going after our dreams. Because if I'm honest, I'm scared. Scared of failure. Scared of stepping out and trying something new.

God has been speaking to me, and I'm listening. Am I going to apply to art teaching positions this spring? (Where I am actually endorsed to teach.) Yes, I am. I'm going to apply to lots of things. And I'm praying God will open the doors that need to be opened, close the doors that need to be closed. I pray He leads me where He wants me.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

It inspires me to read what you wrote. Being a special education teacher would be hard (I get to work closely with them as the special ed. cluster class in my school), but it's SO rewarding! Praying that God provides and shows you exactly where He wants you to go. I know He will!