Where I Am

I haven't posted much about my thoughts on here lately, what's going on in my head, and I'm feeling the need to get it out, so here I go.............

I sit and wonder where will I be next fall? I hate job searching. I long for a job where I feel a peace about being there long term. I really enjoy my current job, but it's not something I can see me doing long term. I could never be pregnant in this job, and while right now that's not something that matters, eventually it will. Special ed interests me, I enjoy it, and feel I connect well with the kids. Where was I going with that thought? I don't know? Back to the job search......

This morning I got an email from a friend's mom about some postings for art teacher jobs at Henrico County. I was shocked because I had just checked their website a couple days ago, and had seen nothing. (I admit, I check that site way too often.)So I go to check it out, I couldn't believe it........the same school I was suppose to coach at earlier this year. The one I posted about here. So I spent the entire day today playing the what if game? What if things had worked out for me to coach there, I would have developed a relationship with the administration and others in the school. They would know me, and know that I'm a hard worker. I would be a shoe in for this position..........

And while I know God is in control of everything, I can't help but wonder why? Right now I am having a hard time making sense of it all. I've applied for a job at a small christian school as well. I love the idea of being able to tell my students that Jesus loves them. Maybe that's why.....

It seems just a few weeks ago (before the last two hard weeks at school) I was so excited about special ed. Here I come back to that again. I honestly felt like God was tugging at my heart, leading me in that direction. And now I don't know..............

I don't know what to think? Where to go? I do know God is in control. He knows somehow all the pieces will fit together perfectly. And somehow I'm trusting him. I'm trusting he will lead me where I need to be. Whether that's somewhere in special ed or somewhere teaching art.

And if your still reading this, thanks. If you want to pray for me, I would really appreciate it. I am praying that God would guide me. Guide me where I need to be. Help me to understand his plan.